NEW YORK CITY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani has launched a contest to compose the jingle to his new taxpayer-funded childcare program (left unsaid was why a government program should require a jingle in the first place).

The New York State Republican Party has made the following submission:

I’m a Communist Kid

To the tune of “I’m a Toys R Us Kid”

I don’t have to grow up, I’m a Communist kid
My daddy’s money or the taxpayers’ – it’s mine to play with!

I don’t have to grow up, I’m a Communist kid
“Globalize the Intifada” – just a slogan that I hid!

From our police corps to mom-and-pop stores
It’s the biggest exodus there is (gee whiz!)

I never had to grow up, but baby if I did –
No adult would be a Communist kid.

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